Parenting is Heart Work: Attitude- A Window into a Child's Heart

Here we are at session #7- Attitude- A Window into a Child's Heart.  I am so excited to share just a few things from Parenting Is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller and our home group session.

Attitude is the prepackaged response to a trigger that is developed over time.

Attitudes have 3 parts:
*Behavior- things you see (rolling eyes, slouch, facial expression)
*Emotion- emotions feed attitude (anger, inferiority, victim)
*Thinking errors- lapse in information (what they believe)

Proactive Solutions:
*Evaluate the influences- Are they feeding my children the right information?  (friends, electronics, entertainment)
Example- "After you spend time with this friend you have a bad attitude.  Be watching for that."
Limit these things if there is no change.
*Teach children about emotions- what they are and how to express them (sad, mad, glad)
*Address thinking errors

Corrective Solutions:
*Confront directly- It's time to take a break.
*Make observations- Call attention to it.  "That was unkind.  That sounded disrespectful.  Try again."
*Consider the timing- responsiveness vs. resistance
*Teach children a better response.

As parents we need to watch OUR attitude!   Realize that bad attitudes are counterproductive.  Have a vision for something better. 

Recently I had a conversation with my 3 year old who displays a bad attitude quite frequently when he is being corrected.  I asked him about what makes him sad, glad and mad.  I was enlightened  This was during a few moments we had alone on the back porch enjoying some cheese and crackers.  Trying to understand my little guy is tough.  I hope to have more conversations with him in non-conflict times.  You should try it too.

Taken from  Parenting Is Heart Work.

Next time: How to Start Connecting with the Heart