Here we are at session #7- Attitude- A Window into a Child's Heart. I am so excited to share just a few things from Parenting Is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller and our home group session.
Attitude is the prepackaged response to a trigger that is developed over time.
Attitudes have 3 parts:
*Behavior- things you see (rolling eyes, slouch, facial expression)
*Emotion- emotions feed attitude (anger, inferiority, victim)
*Thinking errors- lapse in information (what they believe)
*Evaluate the influences- Are they feeding my children the right information? (friends, electronics, entertainment)
Example- "After you spend time with this friend you have a bad attitude. Be watching for that."
Limit these things if there is no change.
*Teach children about emotions- what they are and how to express them (sad, mad, glad)
*Address thinking errors
*Confront directly- It's time to take a break.
*Make observations- Call attention to it. "That was unkind. That sounded disrespectful. Try again."
*Consider the timing- responsiveness vs. resistance
*Teach children a better response.
As parents we need to watch OUR attitude! Realize that bad attitudes are counterproductive. Have a vision for something better.
Recently I had a conversation with my 3 year old who displays a bad attitude quite frequently when he is being corrected. I asked him about what makes him sad, glad and mad. I was enlightened This was during a few moments we had alone on the back porch enjoying some cheese and crackers. Trying to understand my little guy is tough. I hope to have more conversations with him in non-conflict times. You should try it too.
Taken from Parenting Is Heart Work.
Next time: How to Start Connecting with the Heart