Thursday, August 23, 2012

Parenting is Heart Work: Attitude- A Window into a Child's Heart

Here we are at session #7- Attitude- A Window into a Child's Heart.  I am so excited to share just a few things from Parenting Is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller and our home group session.

Attitude is the prepackaged response to a trigger that is developed over time.

Attitudes have 3 parts:
*Behavior- things you see (rolling eyes, slouch, facial expression)
*Emotion- emotions feed attitude (anger, inferiority, victim)
*Thinking errors- lapse in information (what they believe)

Proactive Solutions:
*Evaluate the influences- Are they feeding my children the right information?  (friends, electronics, entertainment)
Example- "After you spend time with this friend you have a bad attitude.  Be watching for that."
Limit these things if there is no change.
*Teach children about emotions- what they are and how to express them (sad, mad, glad)
*Address thinking errors

Corrective Solutions:
*Confront directly- It's time to take a break.
*Make observations- Call attention to it.  "That was unkind.  That sounded disrespectful.  Try again."
*Consider the timing- responsiveness vs. resistance
*Teach children a better response.

As parents we need to watch OUR attitude!   Realize that bad attitudes are counterproductive.  Have a vision for something better. 

Recently I had a conversation with my 3 year old who displays a bad attitude quite frequently when he is being corrected.  I asked him about what makes him sad, glad and mad.  I was enlightened  This was during a few moments we had alone on the back porch enjoying some cheese and crackers.  Trying to understand my little guy is tough.  I hope to have more conversations with him in non-conflict times.  You should try it too.

1 comment:

Turansky/Miller said...

I continue to appreciate your work. Thanks for using our materials. If there's anything I can do for you or if you'd like to help other parents outside this blog on some of our connection links, please let me know. You can reach me at our biblical contact form. Blessings ---Scott Turansky