Thursday, June 7, 2012

Parenting is Heart Work: Correction Ideas that Touch the Heart

Here we are at session #3- Correction Ideas that Touch the Heart.  I am so excited to share just a few things from Parenting Is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller and our home group session.

Many times parents use anger to accomplish the task of correction, but in this lesson Scott and Joanne want to show you a few different ways to do this.  First of all, correction is an opportunity for heart change.

A good correction routine starts with words (1 Timothy 3:16).  Teach your child to be responsive to words of correction.  Also, teach your children to take a break.

Taking a break is sending your child on a mission to change their heart.  The child determines the length of their break and the motivation to return is that the child is missing out on the benefits of family life.

We have recently started using the break with our 3 year old.  We tell him that after he settles down he can come back when he is ready to LISTEN and OBEY!  We cannot engage him in any heart change discussion when he is angry.  We are learning to correct through love and not anger.  I think that is the biggest benefit.

There are also steps of repentance that is discussed in more detail in the book:
1. Settle down
2. Admit doing wrong
3. Acknowledge a better way
4. Commit to do what's right
5. Feel sorrow
6. Desire what's right

Have you used any of these techniques?  Is taking a break different than time-out and how so?

Taken from  Parenting Is Heart Work.

Next time: A Toolbox of Consequences


Annette {This Simple Home} said...

I've been having my kids take a break too. I really think my daughter responds well to this. But both do. I have stopped calling it time out, too...

Anonymous said...


I found your blog searching for homschooling blogs in Tacoma. Yours is such a nice blog and I've had fun reading through your posts!

I wondered if you know of any homeschooling groups in the Tacoma area. My kids are older, ages 10 and 7 and we are having a hard time finding other homschooling kids to connect with. (we live in the North end)


Shonda said...

Hi Kristen- I am not in a homeschooling group yet, but I'm still looking around. I know that there are a few co-ops around if you need more info. Please email me. Thanks! Shonda

MotheringFromScratch said...

{Melinda} I used to use "breaks" as punishment/discipline, but now I see it and use it more as a way for us to both cool down and for them to reflect on their behavior. I've been doing another parenting program that talks about how "saying sorry" isn't enough. We can certainly offer forgiveness (and should!) but I've been trying to practice the concept of "making amends." When you hurt someone, what are you going to do to make it right with that person? Good stuff.

Found you through The Better Mom LinkUp!

Turansky/Miller said...

I'm grateful that you are studying our book. I just saw your website. Lots of good stuff. Keep up the good work. Blessings --Scott Turansky