Thursday, June 14, 2012

Parenting is Heart Work: A Toolbox of Consequences

Here we are at session #4- A Toolbox of Consequences.  I am so excited to share just a few things from Parenting Is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller and our home group session.

There are different ways to get your child from A to B.  Consequences are tools to change the heart.  You need to use them strategically.

Here are the tools in your toolbox:
1. Natural consequences- Things happen.  Say "That's too bad, what are you going to do?"
2. Logical consequences- come alongside and teach your child a lesson.  This needs to be planned.
3. Restricting freedom- take away privileges and earn them back.
4. More parental control- especially when they are failing in an area, provide more support.
5. Spanking- might be the quickest way to the heart for some.
6. Other leaders and authorities- equip your child to respond to these people.
7. Practice doing the right thing- this is the training and continual practice.

I find right now that I am teaching and training my son what I want to see him do independently.  It takes a lot of practice.  We have also had several instances where there were natural and logical consequences.  This is a funny one, but it's true!  It's been several months since our son has been potty trained.  He has decided the bathroom is a fun place to play.  So he dunked his underwear in the toilet.  Naturally his underwear got wet.  So we thought the natural consequence would be to take another pair of underwear and get it wet and he had to wear them.  Do you think he dunked his underwear in the toilet again?  No!  I think he learned his lesson.  :)

What tools do you use in your parenting that are effective?

Taken from  Parenting Is Heart Work.

Next time: Ending Discipline Times with Impact

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